Are you worried you aren’t successful? Don’t be! The greatest success one can have is found in their social network, and size doesn’t matter. According to a 75-year long study done by Harvard the path to success is spending time with friends. Take a moment out of your day today and send somebody you know a nice message.
If you don’t have a large group of friends, or don’t have a partner, don’t worry. A person only needs a few close relationships to be happy.
“It’s not just the number of friends you have,” Waldinger says, “and it’s not whether or not you’re in a committed relationship. It’s the quality of your close relationships that matters.”
It’s a reminder to carve out more time to connect with people who you enjoy being around, sure. But unlike landing a new job or buying a new car, you many not see changes to your mood overnight. “Relationships are messy and they’re complicated,” says Waldinger. Investments in them can take time to pay dividends.
Many people want to change how their coworkers or their boss views them in the workplace, and no matter the reason for wanting a change there are tons of suggestions on how to do so. Indeed the self help industry in the USA is worth $10 billion dollars! That’s a lot of desire for self-improvment in American offices. Here’s a tip to save you money: don’t buy those self-help shills and instead get some self-reflection. It turns out that being conscious of how those around and adding in some metacognition is all you need.
According to executive coach Joel Garfinkle — whose advice is geared more toward your professional relationships — if you’re trying to change the way your coworkers see you, pay close attention to how your behavior impacts them. “Start by being honest with yourself. Notice how your behavior affects those around you. How do people react to you in meetings? In the coffee room or at lunch? If clients aren’t returning your calls, perhaps your behavior is making them feel pressured or uncomfortable,” Garfinkle writes on his blog.
The idea here is that by being honest with yourself about the way you affect others, you can begin to make behavioral changes, like talking less and listening more. “If you’re the type who usually dominates the conversation in meetings or groups, try keeping absolutely quiet and taking notes for a change,” writes Garfinkle. “If you usually hang back and let others take the spotlight, write down some key points that are relevant to the topic being discussed and speak up.” According to Garfinkle, making these changes will slowly change your colleagues’ perception of you.
Canada is the most welcoming; almost 95% of respondents to HSBC Bank International’s Expat Exploreer Survey, released today, said they have made friends with locals. In Germany, 92% were so lucky and in Australia 91% befriended those living there. The United Arab Emirates was found to be the most difficult for expats; only 54% of those surveyed said they’d made friends with locals.
Sometimes all someone needs is a little hope. After seeing people loose hope in their struggles with cancer, poor health, or addictions George Ruann decided to do something about it.
Hope Cube is the result. It’s a social networking site for people who need support in their lives to tackle some difficult aspects of living. You can even ask open-ended questions to the community to solicit support and knowledge.
Relationships require at least two participants, and each member has a role to play within that relationship. I’m not just talking about girl/boyfriend relationships here, I’m talking about all kinds of relationships from friendly to professional to loving. The nice blog, Water Cooler Wisdom has an article on how to ensure a long-lasting and enjoyable relationship.
The key point: be good and pull your weight.
Workplace friendships in particular can develop into some of the most meaningful relationships in your life, but you have to be willing to put in a little effort beyond just saying hello in the hall or eating lunch together in the cafeteria. If you decide it’s not worth it to you, that’s fine, but if it is, don’t let relationship laziness get the better of you.