It’s Time to Embrace that Boys do Cry

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Boys will be boys, as in they will need emotional support and when they are babies they will need more of it than girls. The approach to raising boys who are “tough” and need to “man up” only leads to machismo and other societal ills. So let’s raise boys with more hugs and even more care. It’s time to drop the false assumption that boys ought not to feel emotion or that they can handle distressing moments on their own. If you’re raising a human then I hope you show unfaltering love and emotional care regardless of their gender.

Gendered expectations from parents, teachers and coaches only amplify when boys start school. There’s a prevailing myth that boys are tough enough to handle the barbs of bullying, especially the smaller ones, but research tells us otherwise. A 2021 study showed that boys are more vulnerable to the toxic effects of bullying. In fact, bullied boys reported mental health problems at a rate four times higher than boys who weren’t bullied. That’s especially concerning given the long, toxic tail that bullying has for all children and given that bullying is one of several risk factors  that increases the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

It’s ironic, but independence isn’t something you can learn all by yourself. Boys need tolerant, empathetic adults in their lives in order to become self-reliant. They need to know that we care about and value them, even when we don’t agree with their desires and decisions.

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It’s Good to Say No

Helping people feels good and it’s easy to say yes to helping others; however, it’s not always the best course of action. Of course, this happens very often in the work environment where you and your overworked coworkers need more time to complete tasks. If you keep saying yes to people it might be time to practice ways to say no. Saying no to your coworkers can help you, but it also helps your manager understand people are overworked and will help your coworkers understand boundaries.

7. Use the words “You are welcome to X. I am willing to Y.”

For example, “You are welcome to borrow my car. I am willing to make sure the keys are here for you.” By this you are also saying, “I won’t be able to drive you.” You are saying what you will not do, but you are couching it in terms of what you are willing to do. This is a particularly good way to navigate a request you would like to support somewhat but cannot throw your full weight behind. I particularly like this construct because it also expresses a respect for the other person’s ability to choose, as well as your own. It reminds both parties of the choices they have.

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Working Out Helps You Work it Out

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Going for a walk can help you settle down your overactive brain and help you see things positively, and best of all it’s free! Anxiety and depression rates are increasing in North America for a variety of legitimate reasons; however, we a little working out can bring those rates down. A very effective treatment for anxiety and depression is to use your body and workout. There’s no a growing movement in the english speaking world to get medical professionals prescribe exercise as part of a treatment plan.

“Physical activity can be an effective treatment for mental health problems,” says Ben Singh, lead author and research fellow at the University of South Australia. He thinks it works in several ways: by releasing endorphins and boosting our mood, improving sleep, reducing stress, supporting self-esteem and confidence, and making us feel accomplished and purposeful.

The findings suggest that exercise is particularly helpful in certain situations. While the type of exercise didn’t matter, people got more mental health benefits out of higher-intensity exercise. If you’re doing something that makes you breathe hard, in other words, that’s a good sign.

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Crosswords Reduce Dementia Risk

We know that having friends can help with reducing risk of dementia in old age, but what do people with small (or nonexistent ) social circles do? They can take up leisure activities that get the brain working. Researchers in Australia have found that people who participate in active leisure are less likely to develop dementia. These activities include crosswords, woodworking, painting, and taking classes for fun.

They found that participants who routinely engaged in adult literacy and mental acuity tasks such as education classes, keeping journals, and doing crosswords were 9-11 percent less likely to develop dementia than their peers.

Creative hobbies like crafting, knitting and painting, and more passive activities like reading reduced the risk by 7 percent. In contrast, the size of someone’s social network and the frequency of external outings to the cinema or restaurant were not associated with dementia risk reduction.

The results remained statistically significant even when adjusted for earlier education level, and socioeconomic status. No significant variations were found between men and women.

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Will Kindergarteners be Better at Fact Checking than Boomers?

Argument analysis flowchart
Figure 1 from Cook, Ellerton, and Kinkead 2018. CC BY 3.0

We tach kids how to read so why not teach them to understand how to critique what they read? People tend to be fine with that (although some basic people claim schools shouldn’t teach kids how to question the world around them), so let’s take it the idea of literacy to the 21st century. In Finland they are teaching kindergarten students how to critique and understand arguments made in the news, social media, books, and even their teachers. It turns out that kids are really good at reasoning and will identify “fake news” when they see it.

We soon discovered that children enjoyed playing Sherlock Holmes when fact-checking the claims teachers gave them to verify. After some trial and error, the teachers building the curriculum boiled down complex fact-checking methods into three fundamental questions: Who’s behind the information? What’s the evidence? What do other sources say? These questions are folded in throughout the curriculum, across subjects, and there is continuity from year to year. Young children may learn to tell the difference between a mistake and a hoax, while older students may undertake more advanced projects on elections and threats to democracy.

It would take a lot of time to copy the Finnish approach fully, but a host of experiments in the European Union and beyond suggest that the basic idea can be replicated. The European Commission Expert Group, on which I serve, has explored how education and training initiatives can tackle disinformation through digital literacy in schools throughout Europe. We have produced a report and practical guidelines for teachers and other educators on tackling disinformation, which include activity plans and insights on how to create student-centered approaches. One of the central challenges is that teachers need training, guidance, and support, as well as ways to measure the effectiveness of these lessons.

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